Q:How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb ?
A:Two. One to remove the bulb, and one to check for animal by-products.
Q:What happens when a vegan falls off the wagon?
A:They go to the butchers’ and ask “Do you have anything that died of natural causes?”
Q:How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:I don’t know, but where do you get your protein?
Q:How do you tell when a vegan is in a restaurant?
A:They’re the person who spends half an hour talking to the waiter, and then orders a plain salad with oil and vinegar on the side.
Q:What do you call a vegan guy who pleasures himself?
A: A Non-dairy creamer.
Q:Why did the vegetarian cross the road?
A:He was protesting for the chicken.(pump fist for more enthusiasm)
Q:Why did the tofurkey cross the road?
A: To prove he wasn’t chicken.