Vegan jokes

Q:How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb ?
A:Two. One to remove the bulb, and one to check for animal by-products.

Q:What happens when a vegan falls off the wagon?
A:They go to the butchers’ and ask “Do you have anything that died of natural causes?”

Q:How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:I don’t know, but where do you get your protein?

Q:How do you tell when a vegan is in a restaurant?
A:They’re the person who spends half an hour talking to the waiter, and then orders a plain salad with oil and vinegar on the side.

Q:What do you call a vegan guy who pleasures himself?
A: A Non-dairy creamer.

Q:Why did the vegetarian cross the road?
A:He was protesting for the chicken.(pump fist for more enthusiasm)

Q:Why did the tofurkey cross the road?
A: To prove he wasn’t chicken.

How do you know if someone is vegan?

Don’t worry, they’ll tell ya. – :toothy4:

Is that woman standing by the salad bar a vegan?

I don’t know. I never met herbivore.

What do you call a vegan post-punk band?

Soy Division

What’s the best way to keep milk fresh?

Leave it in the cow.

How many carnivores does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They prefer to stay in the dark.

How many vegans does it take to… ?

THAT’S NOT FUNNY!!! – :angry:


And why did the poor vegan stop eating severed limbs?
[spoil]To make ends meat.[/spoil]